Getting to know all about your child’s imaginary friend. When should you consider a child psychologist?

Many parents tend to become wary when their children start communicating and playing with their imaginary friends. Some children may personify their stuffed doll or toy, often pushing it in a pram, talking to it and putting it to bed at night. For other children an imaginary friend could very well be invisible to everyone else but very real for the child. Child psychologists however have shown that children with imaginary friends are creative and have a colourful imagination.

There may be numerous reasons as to why children have imaginary friends.

• Fun.
• Companionship.
• Entertainment (may not have siblings.)
• Play/ pretend play.
• Assist children in wishful fulfillment.
• Help children overcome fears.
• Coping device in stressful conditions.

Imaginary friends often exist to children between the ages of three and six. Sometimes the child may use familiar or made- up names to identify the friend by. Children create a look, and unique personality for this character who they often talk to when in need of a self- esteem boost. Imaginary friends may last for a couple of days or for long periods of time. They can also come up during distress, loneliness or difficulty.

In many cases the child’s alter- ego will take the form of the friend. This means that the friend will take the blame for a mess that the child created or for swearing. As mentioned above, these imaginary friends may also encourage a child to pretend play. This is very important for a child’s development for many reasons.

• Learning about roles.
• Relationships.
• Power.
• Control- the child gets to make decisions in a situation- they mimic the role of a parent.
• Working through feelings that may be felt through the day.

When should a parent take their child to a child psychologist?

It’s a good idea to try and assist the child in fading the imaginary friend out of their lives, depending on how serious the situation is. This illusion may prevent the child from making real friends as they isolate themselves in their fantasy world.  However this is rarely the case .It is not advised that parents try to force their children to forget about their imaginary friend. If parents are very worried about their child’s development, there are very effective ways to assist a child with facing reality. Taking the child to play therapy with a child psychologist is recommended.

If a teen or young adult has an imaginary friend or enemy, it should raise concern. This fake reality could lay a path towards a disorder such as schizophrenia. In this case, it is vital to consult a professional.

Imaginary friends are a way for children to express themselves. However if parents feel that this illusion is straying their child too far from reality, it is best to consult a child psychologist.

For more information on child psychology or play therapy, call Bryanwood Therapy Centre on:

011 706 2269

011 706 0979

011 463 1488

Email bryanwood@bryanwood.co.za or click here to complete an online enquiry

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